collectingthoughts

My new friend...

2010-08-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

It's one thing to meet people that we immediatly feel that they will be part of one's life, to share the many journey's we have in our lives, but this friend I have been introduced is really my very best friend....not to up set my other "best friend", Terry. It's been a journey I so looked forward to having in my many years of chronic pain. A daily routine that others have in doing the simple things in their life, like bending, sitting for long periods of time, doing gardening for enjoyment, and all the other daily functions that we all do and deserve. I would have to think before I did those things that made me happy, to think, "better not do anything that will take away the remainder of the day with chronic pain just around the corner."
It's been a little over 5 weeks since my Neurostimulator has been implanted. I was sore for the first 2-3 weeks, with the insiscions that were made to place the battery and leads in my back. Once that was better, I now can do the simple things that others can/have done. The sitting on the computor and talking on the phone is the best.....no residual pain, now. My gardening is something I now look forward to doing...whenever I want...less pain. Volunteering, at our local American Cancer Thrift Shop is a joy for me...I can do what I wish...with less pain. Driving in the car,to help my mother get to the doctors appointments and grocery shopping...less pain. Just about everything I do, now is with less pain. I do have an occasional bout, like yesterday, when I decided to wash Baylee, our dog, work in the yard for a few hours, and even start cleaning out my closet. I think what caused some residual pain was the trying on the clothes to see if they either fit or that I no longer wanted them...that's what was the kicker in having some pain...but, not near the pain I have had since the surgery. But, I do know, now, that I really can't do all that in one day....something I needed to experience, I guess. Needless to say, I can and will be able to have a better quality of life, like all of us deserve.
So, I think you all can understand that this device is a "best" friend that hopefully will stay in my life forever...as it truly has changed my doing and thinking on that "daily" basis!

Again, thanks for all the concern from others that I have had for almost 30 years of chronic pain in my back...not to forget the chronic pain I felt in my mind, dealing with this misery!
Love to all.....
Happy Day!!!

My Stim....Day 9

2010-06-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is day 9 and I am without my trial stim. I had my last appointment with my doctor and the tech, yesterday. Our discussion was about how I have felt in the past days since I saw them...it was fantastic! Very little pain with the leads and a success, as far as I am concerned!!!
The leads placed just below my belt line and just under the skin were removed. I asked the doctor why I could not leave them in and it was stated because of a risk of infection.
Within a few hours I had the start of some pain...really not too bad. I did, however not sleep as well I did when the leads were in. I have decided that I really need to be very careful not to do things that will aggrivate my getting into the pain mode. I am in constant pain, throughout the day, but I will have to start to become more aware, with thought always in mind, once again.
Just 3 weeks away. I really don't look forward to having surgery, but I will do what is needed to have the quality of life, I have experienced in the last week. There is now hope, without the thought of another major back surgery!
I thank those who have made comments on my blog, with the happy notes and encouragement you have given for me while I was, "in trial!"
I am so looking to the days after the surgery and the healing, so that I can get on with my life and so the things that others do, without the dreadful daily pain!
I have decided to get this done, as I have a wedding to look forward to and that is for our son, Paul and his future bride, Alexis..
Let the party begin, as I am looking forward to that exciting day!!!
Love you all....
Joyce

Day 3 and 4 with my Nerve Stim...

2010-06-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is already days 3&4 with my nerve stimulator placed in my lower back. I have not had to take any medication for the entire time, since the surgery on Wednesday....such a "good thing!" I volunteered at the shop...that went well. Yesterday was a fun day. Alexis had her Bridal Shower and it was a good turn-out. I met more of her family, like her grandmother and her daughter. Alexis' Aunt is an interior decorater and did a beautiful job with all the set-up and the food. I was just in-awe with what she had done with the tables and the colors were wonderful.
Alexis was all dolled-up with her hair done-up. What I mean with that, is she had her hair done like she will be wearing it for the wedding. One of the games we played was: Name all the things Alexis is wearing, today and what her wedding dress will look like. She had to leave, the room and we all sat, with pen and paper in hand. After winning and telling all what I had wrote, here is what I saw.
Alexis was wearing:
Pearls in her curls of hair.
Jeans
Boots
Engagement Ring
Sweater, tan and beige
Earrings
Eye liner
Mascara
Eye shadow, dark
Lipstick
and even, and not to forget, her nose ring...well, that got a laugh, but, she was wearing that too!
As far as the dress:
All lace, with an under lining of beige silk.
It is sleeve-less
That's all I could remember about it.
But I WON!!!
Knowing me, the beautiful Wine Stopper was just what I got....as I love my wine!
So, with that happening throughtout the day and me having to sit for that long period of time, there was still very little pain....that's a good thing!
Today I will volunteer at the shop, once again, and hope the rest of my day goes well, just like the other days while I TRIAL!!!

Day 2 with my Nerve Stim....

2010-06-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is day 2 and I am having better days than expected. I did see my doctor and the Rep. yesterday. I did get another level, where the "stinging" was changed. I went out in the front yard and decided to challange myself with the one thing that causes much pain...my gardening! When I just sit on my garden wagon, for minutes, that aggrivates my back. There I was all bent over for almost an hour...Yeh!!
It felt so good to be in the sun, with my garden tools at hand...no pun, with that one! When I did start to have some pain, I stopped. After gathering-up my tools and wagon, I had thoughts in my mind that I would indeed have lots of pain, as that is what follows with any actions that start the pain...well, I was pleasantly surprised that I did not!
I decided to do the next thing that most aggrivates my back pain...sitting! I went to the back, to enjoy our garden, with Bill. We sat there, talking about what occured in my, " adventures in my garden," he asking my how I felt. With a smile on my face, I told him that I did well and I had yet to take a pain pill. As a matter of fact...I did not take one, the whole day! Having the nerve stim. is a good thing, as the doctor states, most patients do not need to take as many, with this device.
So, day 3 is here, I will do another thing that causes my pain...volunteering at our local American Cancer Discovery Thrift Shop, here in town. I look forward to being there, not only for the dispaying of the items that come in, the people I work with, the many locals that come in, and knowing that what we sell goes to finding a cure for the dreadful disease of Cancer. I will look forward to doing all the things that do me in, at the end of my shift: like the walking, bending, standing, crouching, twisting and merchandising I do when I work. With the challange, I will see if my device helps me through the day. The trial is all about doing what I wish to do...how much less pain I have, and will I have this device implanted so I can have a much better quality of life.
Thanks to all....

Oops, I forgot to mention that I had a good nights sleep. When rolling over to my other side and getting up, I had little pain....sleeping is another thing that aggrivates my back and goes into spasams, at times. A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP...Ahhhhhhhh!

Another Journey into my Chronic Back Pain...

2010-06-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

For those who know me and the back pain that I have endured for over 28 years, thanks for listening to what I am about to do, in hopes to get some relief.
With the second back surgery in 2004, my back pain has cause more pain than I want/needed, on a daily basis. So, I retired from a job I truly loved...being an Assistant for Special Ed. Children.
Last year, in December, I had a Nerve Stimulator placed on the areas that give me the most pain. It was a trial to see if I would get the most relief. I "trialed" for 9 days. After the trial period, the leads were taken out and I did get some relief.
There are no medications involved, the device sends a message to the brain, when the pain starts and it cuts off the pain in its path. If a patient gets a good amount of pain relief the device is then implanted under the skin. The patient has this for almost 7 years, using it for pain relief. After that time, the device would need to be surgically removed and a new battery would be replaced.
My mom, at her age of 87 needed a lot of help, soon after I had the trial. I was the only family member that was willing to help her, so I put the surgery aside...that is, having the device surgically implanted.
It has been 6 months, my mom is doing things, on her own, so I decided to see my specialist. I will have the trial on Wednesday, 16th. I will have 7 full days to do the things that have caused my pain. I can tell you, I am looking forward to see if this will be the answer to giving me the relief, I so desperatly need and want. And my quality of life...is the PITS, at this time!
After many years of back pain, I have been able to do some things and have just went with the pain...after awhile, one just gets use to what they have...I know I have, as I've been told, I have a High Tolerance for Pain.
Some of the many chores and daily things that aggrivate my back pain are:
Sitting...
Twisting...
Crouching...
Climbing...
Bending...
Standing for long periods of times...
And, just about everything else one does, on a daily basis...me, I always need to think, before I do...and then at times, when I do have a good day, I just go at it without thinking and pay for it with the severe pain that I will have in the next days ahead.
I am looking forward to doing the trial, again. I will keep a journal and do all the "normal" living, that others do, and see how this device will help me. I wanted to do another trial, because I want to make sure this is going to give me the quality of life we all deserve. This implant is a major surgery.
So, with this journey, (trial) I will take with a smile on my face. Hopefully there will be the next, in my journey, to have the nerve Device implanted and the quality of life I am looking forward to.
Many thanks for listening...
Joyce

2010-04-15T10:21:00.001-07:00

2010-04-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

This 4TH of July...

2009-07-04T10:20:00.000-07:00

As I start this day; July 4TH 2009, I will think about family and friends who are celebrating this Independence Day. I will think of the barbeque's, the music, the gathering of different things that will occur for all. We have the "freedom" to do many things, here in our United States of America.
I think of my dear and loving father for these United States of America and his faithfulness of being a proud Soldier, for 29years. His courageousness of fighting for the freedom of our America. His many wars he was in: Korea, twice, WW2 and Vietnam, twice. He was not injured with regards to his body but I can tell you he must have been injured within, to be left many times alone to fight not only for the others but for himself. He was a PROUD Soldier and a strong witness to all he had endured over those many years. HE really never talked about what happened to him and others. But my mother told me of how he would have nightmares when returning from the wars. I remember talking with him, over the phone when he was in Vietnam, saying "OVER" with each and every sentence. I remember being so frightened when he was in Vietnam, as many young students as I was, in High School and hearing and seeing the actions that took place there and how scared I was that my father would not return. To this day I have letters that I sent to him with the many other items he had when he was in Vietnam and the other wars.I have a display case with these items and always proud to share it with others.
My father was a family-guy. He loved getting together with family and just sitting back and seeing all that was before him. You could see in his eyes that it was where he had always visioned when he was alone in the bunkers and hills of the wars. I loved when my father would get his, "courting glasses", as he called them when we all were together. They were the shiny gold glasses he paid for. He wore a black pair which were given to him by the Army...those he wore around the house. I remember when we went out, how he would get his, "dressy" clothes on and slick back his hair....with Brill Cream; as that was "BIG" in those days....for those who can remember," A LITTLE DAB WILL DO YOU"!
I have remembered all these past years that I have missed having my Dad with us when we remembered so proudly this 4TH of July; as he has been gone for 25 years now and I miss him so very much. I can tell you; as I have always shared with others, that the soilder he was, he would be happy to pass away on this Indendence Day! As he was so proud of this Unnited States of America...as I am of him for being my Father.
Forever in my heart and mind...
HAPPY 4TH of JULY TO ALL!

Oops I did it again...pressed the WRONG button..

2009-04-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

A wonderful day it is! Bill and I are celebrating our 30Th Anniversary! Wow, to think back on that day reminds me of how fortunate I am to have married this wonderful man.
Now, we did not marry on Tax Day, April 15Th...it happened to be on Easter! I remember getting up with the thought of being Mrs. Bill Ensley. Well really; Billy, as that is his given name at birth. I just don't call him by that name!
We had chosen an out door wedding at the Asilimar Beach in Pacific Grove. It was a day like today, as a matter of fact! Sunny and a bit windy, in the afternoon. One can not reserve a spot on the Beach so we had to call it "our spot", when we arrived. Bill arrived first and noticed there was a couple at a picnic table, enjoying their Easter Day..in our chosen spot!! He asked if they would mind moving to another area, as he was getting married, right where they sat. At first they said, "NO" and then laughed and Bill and the man moved the picnic table and we had "OUR SPOT."
The couple remained there to witness our marriage. Maybe we should have had them to be OUR WITTINESS'S and sign the Certificate of Marriage...Ha!!! I chose a Victorian lace hat and a dress to match. Bill was in a tux...I know that does not surprise any of you. He has always said, "a man should be dressed in a Tux at least once a year"...as it makes one feel good!!!
We invited almost 75 friends and family. Bill's mom and grandmother flew out from N.C. and the celebration began.
I remember when the preacher asked, "who gives this woman away"...my dad was so proud it was Bill I was marring and he yelled, "HER MOTHER AND I!" Being a retired Drill Sargent you can only imagine he wanted everyone to hear how proud he was to have this day occur!!
Bill has been my support base for all these years. Can you imagine "ME" being the shy-one around crowds and not speaking...Not anymore! I am proud to say he showed me there are things to be done, places to see, and people to meet. HE has made me laugh and of coarse cry; as that goes both ways in a marriage. The learning of those times has made us bond even more.
We have shared and stayed together with so many great happenings ..one being; given birth to a wonderful son, our Paul...the joy of our life together. The times we flew back to N.C. with my dad to have Bill and Paul meet my Grandmother, Aunt and Uncle, in Marion N.C. The times we sat on Granny's front porch with Bill's family, listening to the stories they shared with us...good and bad. I can tell you I will forever be grateful for them all! I am truly blessed to have experienced that sense of family connection and the love they gave us!
I miss his Aunt's and Uncle's. We have lost so many over the years. But with the passing of each and everyone of them, I have the happy times to remember and treasure all that was given to me when we did our mini family reunions with them.
We have met so many good friends over the past years. Shared so many things along the way...blessed for having each and everyone in our space of life.
You know, I could go on and on with the past and presant, and I wish to share just a few wonderful events in our life together....with the, "CHOSEN ONE"....my mate, Bill!!!
Love to all....

A wonderful Day...

2009-04-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

A visit from Terry....

2008-11-19T08:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since Terry left California and I miss my best friend. I am happy that she has family, here, and that we continue seeing each other. I can't imagine not having her in my life. We spent most of the day, talking about our kids and visiting the local thrift shops, here in Salinas. It's most fun to be together, as we have done this for many, many years....let's say "way" past 20 years! Terry got me started in collecting, "red Kitchen ware"; I don't know if that was a good thing; as all of you know that when I collect...I really go all the way. Bill always says, "once you have 3 of something, you start a collection!" I agree to that, and have many more, collections. Take the pottery collection, the 50's kitchen collection, the coke collection, what did I leave out? Let's give Bill the credit too. Collecting, the razor collection, his stamp collection, the old and new toy collection, the clock collection, the golf collection, the radio collection, the 90%" in the garage", collection.....on and on and on! We don't do things in small ways, we "DO IN BULK!"
Terry is always asking me what is "new" in the house. She takes great steps in looking for the "new" and with that I find most amusing...as we don't have anything ,"new", it's just the same old, old stuff! I know what she means...."what's new, in the old collections, we have?"
Yet, another Billism: "we don't want anyone entering our home and be visually starved"...well, that will never happen!!!! Ask Terry and she will tell you the many stories of where I got all this stuff. We spent many hours in the Goodwill, with our kids, when they were small. The clothes for the kids and their Cabbage Patch kids. Even my, clothes, " for my work!" (that's one that Terry and I share)....right Terr!
I do have to say, that there have been times when Terry was here for a visit, she would help me "purge" my closet...that's another thing I collect... a lot of clothes, shoes and I love my jewelry. So, with Terry, laying on our bed, and me at the closet, we would go through my clothes and she would let me know what I did and did not need. That was a great help; as I would keep it all, if need be. I did take a few things out, when she left; I do have to mention...but that's not a secret, between she and I!
That's what friends are for...the connection in life and I would not have it any other way. Just one of many stories we share.
Thanks for being in my life, Terry!!!!

Baylee...

2008-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try and post a few photos of Baylee...Wish me luck!
Enjoy!

A new puppy..

2008-08-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

It has been just a few months since we lost our dear Abby. My heart ached all the time. I have always had a dog in my life...raised with them through-out my child hood. I began looking on line, at our local animal shelters. By NO means was I trying to replace my Abby...just the ache and loss of her. I looked on a daily basis. Bill was not keen on getting another puppy, but I was on a mission! One morning, while on line, I saw a puppy that would be perfect for us. I showed him and he said," go look at her!" did I hesitate...Nope! I sent an email to the shelter; as they were yet opened. I called, too. I had not seen this puppy, remember, I have been on line..daily. A staff member called and I told her I was looking for a puppy. Because I did not fill out an adoption application, I was not able to put a hold on her. When I mentioned that we were ready to adopt, with the loss of our Abby, the staff member said...be here when we open and I will let you see her. I was so excited, to say the least! I got to the shelter, at 11:45. The shelter opened at noon. When the doors opened, I was the first to enter. I mentioned who I was and was given a leash and the cage number. As I walked through, I could see the other dogs at the front of their cage. I tried not to look, too hard as this gives a lump in my stomach. If I had the room, beleive me, I would take them all!! I amde it to the cage and there were 4 sweet puppies...all litter mates! 2 girls and 2 boys. I was told that the puppy I was looking for was No. 97. I went in and it was not east to find the no. on the collar. Try and get in with 4 12 week puppies, all wanting the attention and you would be over-whelmed. I finally put a hold on our little-one and told the staff, that I needed Bill to see her. Bill worked on that day, but I was able to tale him into seeing her. When we got there, we needed to find our puppy. Again, that was a hard thing to do. I found a female and decided that was her. We took her out and sat on a bench...she was so dosole and loved her, right away. OOPs, she was the wrong one. So, we had to put her back in and get the right one. She was just as dosole, as her sister. Bill wanted a real puupy....like 6-8 weeks old. This one was not...and the fact that she has such BIG feet, he was concerned about her getting so big. As, the puppies are Rotteiller/lab mix. We decided she was the one and adopted her that day. Her other siblings were already adopted and another person wanted to adopt a female. So, my persistance, being at the right place, at the right time, we found the puppy we wanted. All the puppies were found on the side of the road, not far from Salinas. Someone docked their tails and decided they did not want the...I find this sooooo awful. The pain they all must have indeared!! We are now the proud owners of Baylee. She has a very easy temperment. Sits on demand, well, she likes that, on her own. I have taught her how to shake and that was so easy. Bill and I will start her obedience training on the 27Th. With this we will acclimate her to all the other dogs at the site. Perhaps one of her sibblings will be there? The vet says that Baylee will most likely be around 85lbs. So, obedience is a must. And I like having a well-behaved-dog. I am now looking foreward to having daily walks with Baylee. It already gives me great plesure to come home and see how happy she is to see me. With no tail, well a nub, she gets her back end going and does real well with her butt going with the motion. I love seeing her play with her toys and enjoying being in a happy home. I love showing her off, as she is well worth that. I love seeing her come, when asked and sitting by my side. I love seeing her play with the cats, with assistance. The cats are tollorating her and it has been a trying time. They all seem to be getting along, though. Baylee loves to go out with Bill, on her short walk. With her being so new to the world, she will sit one her own when something new is in her site and just stare at it or who. She looks as if she is taking "all" in and with great joy. She is not aggressive, in any way and loves the attention. We have never crate-trained a puppy. We both decided to do it. The first night was very hard. Baylee could not understand why she was left in the crate...I guess with just being at the shelter and with her sibblings. So, she was very distressed and howled and cried throughout the night. I though Bill was going to take her back...not me. I have a sense for an animal and knew we could not let her out. She was just going to have to get use to going in for the night. The days passed and she got better and better. She now sleeps through the night, with great ease. She does not like going in and does that with a little help, but once in she is fine. My days are now filled with joy. I think of my Abby and know she is in peace. I look at her memorial at the foot of the steps and smile when looking at all, knowing that we had her for a long time and loved every minute of her. We have saved a puppy from the possibilty of being put down or having a terrible non-loving family. we will enjoy the days ahead and the love that we give and the love she will give to us.

Our memorial to Abby

2008-06-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

It has been 5 weeks since we lost our Abby. With each and everyday, I see the face of Abby...waiting to go outside, wagging her tail, when seeing me, licking my hand, when I gave her a pat on the head or a hug. I see her on our monitor, as she posed for her picture, ever so happy to do so. One of her favorite places, was in the garden, with me. In the later days of her being with us, it was hard to play Frisbee or chase her ball, but she was always at my side when I would go out and work in the yard. Abby loved being out, with me. She would lay down, in her spot and with nose in the air, would seem to have a smile on her face, as it to say, " I am most happy, when out in the garden with my owner!" Just having her near by, was the best for me.

I waited almost 2 weeks before Abby's remains were given to us. I called to see how the process was going and was told that I could pick-up her Urn. As I drove to the Vets, I noticed I needed to take very deep breaths, to get me to calm down, knowing what was a head of me. I pulled in the parking lot and into the Veternarinan's office, I went. As I stood, waiting my turn to the desk, I flashed on the first time I took Abby to this Vet. Here she was only 6 weeks old and already so attached to me. She crawled up in my lap and hid her head under my arm; not realizing that she had separation/anxiety syndrome, at the time. I noticed people coming and going with their pets and loving them while waiting to be seen by the Vet. With the few minutes I stood in line, my mind went a hundred miles a minute. I know what I needed to do and when asked, the Tech immediately went in the back and retrieved our Abby. I was given a beautiful Condolence/in memory of, certificate. Along with a wonderful and meaningful letter, stating that in the end our Abby will forever be with us. My heart was filled with such pain, as I walked out of the office and into my car. I sat there, looking at all that was given and the tears were not going to stay within. When I got home, I cleared a spot, putting together all that was Abby's and made her memorial. I found a perfect frame for the certificate and all that mattered to us, with regards to our Abby. Her picture, nail clippers, lead and collar, one of her last and favorite stuffed animals and the many cards sent our way, from friends. Now when I go up stairs and back down, I can look at what is her and think of the happy times and the long time we had Abby. I can tell all, that I was not able to think...or at least did not let myself, think of Abby, in the first few weeks, as it just made my life miserable..with the loss.
I am so glad that we did have her cremated, as I know that she "is" with us and always will be.
Our beloved Abby, will be forever missed.
Love you Abby...

Our beloved...Abby

2008-05-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

There is something to say about a companion and a pet. When having a pet, it is for life. May it be a short life or a long one...it is never easy when I lose one. A pet is a luxury. That is: to love, honor, give, treat with respect...I could go on and on, but to lose is the worst feeling and an emptiness that will take a long time to leave the heart.
My Abby was such a sweet and gentle soul. She was part of our life, since she was just 6 weeks old. There was a difficult time, when she arrived at our home. Abby would chew the deck furniture, scratch the screen door, and dig up my bare root roses. Even though, I was not going to give her up. I was determined to see her threw this!
Bill and I loved to take her for walks. She would not take to other dogs, but I got her threw this, also. I realized she was really attached to me. Where ever I was, in the house or in the garden, Abby always wanted to be by my side....I loved that. When I left for work, she would be at the door. When I came home, she would be at the door. If I went up stairs she would be in front, going up to be with me.
I taught Abby to get the newspaper, in the morning. As, it was better for her to be seen, not Bill or I, with our sticky-up hair! Abby would be at the door, each and every morning, to please us and not to forget her treat, when she came in, with the paper. Her routine; when in the kitchen, with the paper in her mouth, was to go around the butcher block and Bill would tell her to drop it and she would. I taught her to shake, lay down and when she would bark too much and not stop, I would tell her to go upstairs and go to bed....she would. When I taught her to take a paper bag up stairs with a note for something, she was happy, to please. She would bring it down, once Bill would put the item in the bag, drop the bag and wait for her treat.
Abby tore her ligament when she was almost 2. Up until that, she would be left in the back yard, when we went to work. After the surgery, we kept her in the house and she was so happy with that. As I soon realized with all the destruction she did outside, she was diagnosed with, anxiety separation. She just wanted to be with us!
As the years went by, our Abby was happy to be in the house and with our indoor cats. She never bothered anything in the house. Abby shared her bed with the cats. She was my door bell. If I did not hear the bell, she would bark until I would get the door. There was such a connection, between Abby and I. When Bill would be out of town, Abby was there to keep me from being sad and I always felt she would protect me, from any danger.
Abby loved to go for her walks. She knew where her lead and collar was, and would carry her lead in her mouth, to the door. She loved to ride in the car. When Bill and I would go on trips, Abby would be with my mom. All I had to say was," want to go to Grandmas" and she would be at the door.
Bill noticed, at times, that Abby would howl, if she heard my voice on the answering machine. If I was not there, she was always waiting for me, with such joy, when I came home....I too, looked forward to seeing her!
I could see that Abby was showing her age and with her coshings disease, both were taking a toll on her. As the years went by, I could no longer take her for walks. As I would go out the door, for my walk, she would be at the door, barking, as if to say,"hey what about me!" It was just a bit difficult for her to take the long walks.
My heart hurt, to hear her at the door, but it was for her own good...as I adored this dog!
Now my heart aches for the loss of our Abby. She was telling me, each and everyday that her time was coming, to leave us. I knew this was going to happen, sooner than I wanted...but when the time came, we made the hard decision to honor her the rest she needed. I made the appointment to be with her, when she was to leave us. Bill was not able to be with Abby and I, and with that I understood. With the attachment, Abby and I had, I would not just drop her off. She needed me there. So, with her on a quilt, given by the tech, I sat by her side and loved her...telling her, I would miss her and would always love her. Within minutes, she was gone. We had her for 15 years and they were the best 15 years I had with my beloved, Abby. She was the best companion, EVER!!!
We had her cremated and I will make her mini shrine, to be with us, forever, once I have her ashes.
My heart aches, each and everyday, without her presents in our home. Loving her, seeing her in the morning and saying good night to her. Things have changed, for us, but I will never forget, my Dear, Dear Abby. Fifteen years, may be a long time for having a pet, but not long enough for me.
FOREVER...ABBY April 28, 2008

Our Inge

2008-01-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

As the New starts, I find my heart aching. We lost a dear, dear friend, just 2 days before Christmas. Inge was a neighbor of my mom's for almost 30 years. As my mom has said, " Inge was like a sister!"

Mom found Inge, in her family room. We are not sure when she passed..My mom and she spent the evening together and that was the last time they had a conversation. Inge had a bad heart and at 87 years old, we all knew that her time would be near.

We shared many, many years together. Family outings, weddings, funerals, graduations, even the recent birth of our great-nephew, Henry.
Inge and my mom have been going to the YMCA, for almost 20 years. There are senior citizens days for stretching and exercising...that was 3 times a week and a joy for the two of them.

Inge had no family, here in the U.S. Her sister and niece are in Germany and they were notified. Because of the holiday's, there were things that needed to be done for the family. Inge did have a living will and her next door neighbor was first in line, to be Inge's executor...my mom the second.

Inge's late husband has been buried at our local cemetery, since 1977. Being in the military, he had full honors. My mom and Inge had discussed death, because of their ages. It was her wishes to be cremated. So, with that and the consent of her niece and sister, they asked that we take care of that and the services. So, on Christmas Eve morning, that is what we did. Helga asked me to be with her and we picked the Urn. We scheduled the services and I called everyone, with Inge's address book, at hand. Helga did the Obituary and with the holiday's, it was not in until Thursday...the services were the next day.

My brother and I did eulogy's for Inge. I know she would have loved that. Days have passed and yesterday, we all went to the grave site and witnessed the box/with Urn, were to buried with her late husband.

We have done some things, in and out of the house, to help the niece and husband, when they arrive to finish things in the house. I have spent everyday, cleaning out cupboards, willing to take canned goods to the local food bank, put dishes in boxes, even went through the purses, to make sure there was nothing in them, Bill helped with the garage and took everything down from the over-head, cleaned the bathrooms of cosmetics, cleaned-out the freezer and the fridge....what ever we could do to help the niece and her husband, so they would not have to deal with that. Again, all was with the concent of she and her mother. My mom would let them know, when things were done.

Just yesterday my mom received a call from Inge's sister, and she was very angry with all of us doing what we did, for them. It is strange, to me, to hear from a family to, " do what ever, with the body and services," without the wishes to be here for the services and burial...very cold, to all of us! I spent the afternoon with my mom; as she was very hurt, for all we were asked and then yelled at for the graciousness of my family. We know that Inge would have wanted what we did for them.
The niece and husband arrived, yesterday and I hope to talk with them. I am angry, for their coldness, but not for what we did, for Inge.

My mom had saved Inge's life, more than once. Inge was not the type of women to go to the Drs. She and my mom went to the same Drs., for years. Mom would see that she was ill and insisted she take her to the Dr. Even the Dr. had told my mom and Inge, if she was not taken care of, she would not be here. I know that Inge's sister would call my mom and see how she was...many times, in the past. So, I am puzzled with what has taken place since yesterday.

In Germany, apparently a dumpster is brought to the house and all the remaining things, in the house and out, are just thrown out. It was brought to their attention, that with the need of food, clothing and other household goods, that things can be sold at the cancer thrift shop; with that for the monies going to the researsh to cure cancers. I'm not sure what will happen in the days that these people are here. I do know that I am glad that I am how I am and not like the coldness of others.

All we all wanted to do, was for the love of Inge and to help her family, being that they were so far away and have so much more to do with the estate. I still have faith in people, but have been hurt for what has taken place and the hurt that was said to my mom. She and Inge shared their lives together and loved each other, like two sisters should. Inge told me many times how she cared for my mom and I could see when they were together, that they both had an ever-lasting friendship. I have reminded my mom, in these past days, that not everyone had/has that.

It was hard when my mom found Inge...sitting up , with the phone in her hand and the passing.
It was not easy to hear the message, my mom left, saying to come over ASAP because she found Inge, dead in the family room.
It was not easy when the police questioned her, in length; making her feel like she killed her...those were words from my mom.
It was not easy to find out about Inge, call her sister and niece, with the news of her passing.
It was not easy to go to the funeral home, sit for more than an hour, talking about what was going to take place in the days ahead.
It was not easy to pick out the Urn.
It was not easy to go through Inge's belongings.
It is not easy to put together a uology and speak before others.
It is not easy to go to the cemetary; making sure that Inge's remains will be buried.
It has been VERY difficult to see the hurt, my mom has been given by her family.
But, even with all that has come to us....I know I would do it all over again...for Inge!!!!!!

Our mom is doing well, considering what has happened. She will turn 85, in February. We will look after her, as her routine of being with Inge, on a daily basis, has changed.

Love to all....

Son's Day..

2007-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, as Mother's Day has come and gone; only on the calendar, though. Being a mom goes on as long as we are here. I'm not writing about Mother's Day, but it comes to mind that, where on the calendar does it post Son's Day or Daughter's Day?

If there were a Son's Day, I would do-up the house, make his favorite dinner and tell him just how proud I am of having him in my life. I do tell him, but celebrating that day as "Son's Day," would be set aside just for him.

I had a wonderful day with Paul and Alexis, on Saturday. Paul cooked a delicious dinner of pork chops, along with a tomato sauce covering the chop, red mash potatoes, callor greens...just the best dinner I have had in some time. What a wonderful gift that was for me. I had the afternoon out in the garden, doing nothing but enjoying the thought of my son doing this for me. The presentation of this meal was very," Restaurant-like!" The fact that he was willing to do this for me, just gives me a smile on my face...he's always been a, "Keeper", as I said when giving birth to him. The thoughtful and funny gifts he gave me...a large, very large wine glass, which, when putting my favorite wine in it, tastes so much better. The special napkins, with words of mine, that he found and gave me. The hugs and telling me that he has loved me from the start and now as an adult. Not to forget the beautiful card he found, with great thought, and the words he wrote about how grateful he is to have me as his mom. I took the card to bed with me last night and read it over and over again, as his words on that special card brings tears to my eyes and a smile on my face, to having a wonderful and thoughtful son, as I have.

My Paul has grown into an adult with strength of his own. He has had some rough times in his growing-up years and has showed himself and now me that he has over come some things and continues to go on with his life. He is so much fun to be with..his story-telling of things that have happened are hilarious. He can mimic anyone..better think about this one, as you might be the next. When seeing my Paul, those hugs are the best..I always look forward to those. Going to the local thrift shops are fun, as he is always amazed with the things I get for a real bargain price! Paul is very thoughtful of his friends and their family. In fact, he was sort of taken on what to do on this Mother's Day, as it was special day for me and his best friends family. This special event for Eric's mom but also his fiance just graduated, hoping to go on with her nursing. Paul called at the beginning of the week, telling me about the upcoming weekend and was hard to stretch his self with all; as a mother, I could tell he was struggling with the thought. He was torn on how he was going to be with me and his dad and be at the BBQ on Sunday to celebrate, not only M.D., but to celebrate the graduation of Ella. I'm all for sharing my boy with friends that mean so much to him and have helped him with many hard times. Eric and his family have done so much for him. It was time to share. So, we had a great afternoon, on Saturday, and well into the evening with my son and his Alexis. That was a wonderful time for me, to have him think of me and the others in his life, so with that, I was fine. It just shows me how thoughtful he is of others. We put on a C.D. of Boss Scaggs, in concert and danced in the front room...laughing all the time. I would not take that back for anything.
So, with the thought of us all having a, Son or Daughter's Day, I give these thoughts to my Paul.
I love my boy, more than the ball, more than the house and more than the big world.

Thank you, Paul for being the child and young adult you have become. I have truly been blessed with the best son a mother can have.
I love you, son.
Your mom...forever!

Spring has Sprung!

2007-04-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't like using others words, which is the title of my blog. But, this happens to be my favorite time of the year....I love, I mean that...love this time.

The time that the weather is warming-up. My bulbs, in my garden, start to peek up from the ground. All the trees have a mind of their own; when they decide to show their leaves, sheltering them from being...NUDE ( I like to think) from the fall and winter weathers. Time to put on lighter clothing...Although we don't have severe weather, here in California, like most states, but we do have our time when long pants, sweaters, and coats are a must. From long, to now capris and then the shorts. I won't get into shorts until I receive that golden tan...may it be from a bottle or just the nice sun drenched tan, from mother nature. Oh, there have been many years, that I hid my pasty white legs under clothing so that they would not see the light of the day...for the others, that is. To me, there is something about two, bright, white sticks, walking around with a bright light around them. I know, this is probably only my thinking, but a shade of color is so much nicer to see that the bright lights of winters hiding.

I will change my winter clothes, in my closet, to perch lower for me to retrieve. The winter ware will be put higher and in back, of my shelves, waiting for the months of cold weather. I love wearing my different shoes, of color, at this time of the year. They will match my many outfits of capris and shorts....but, only when my tan appears; as that may take some time, but it will happen.

I have come to love the warm sun on my skin. I guess I needed to get arthritis to shed some of my longer clothing. The sun does wonders for my legs and even back. Although I won't show that side of me..my back. Others may ask questions of why I have scars...with those darn back surgeries! I'll give myself some time in the back yard, to get started with the tan, look. May even start using some quick-tan...from the bottle.

Now, that's something to think about. Long ago, when Coppertone came out with the instant-tan-in-a-bottle, I was, I think, one of the first to try this miracle in the bottle. I visioned being so cool looking, bathing beauty, of the sun. Well, after smoothing it all over my legs, and arms, waiting for the natural, golden, tan, I was not amused to see that I became...an instant, brightly colored, orange, smeared all over victim! Wow, now what am I going to do? I thought, I can't go out looking like this! Trying to rub the stuff off was not in the bottles directions. It just had to wash off. I did try to scrub, with all my strength..but it was just not going to wash off and into the drain. So, I had to shelter my skin from myself and all to see. Thankgoodness I did not tell everyone that I was going to... to the bottle!!

I think Easter has come to us, in that Coppertone way..as it is like being an orange carrot on legs. Thankgoodness the cosmetic industry has come up with more natural products!!

So, even with this being my favorite time of the year, I will remove some clothes and,"MAY" let better and more improved products take hold of my skin, unlike the awful, "Carrot-in the Bottle!"

Happy Spring, to all...

Our Rusty

2007-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Today is not a very plesant day for Bill and I. We had to put Rusty, our cat down. Rusty was such a special pet. He was a quite cat, with a very kind heart. If you have a cat, as a pet, you see they can be so giving. His gentle sole came to us, 17 years ago.
While living on Maryal Drive, here in Salinas, Paul and a neighbor noticed 5 kittens in a neighbors back yard. The fact that we had two other cats, Bill mentioned, several times to us, that we did not need anymore. As the kittens got older, Paul and I decided that the kittens needed to be fed and given some water. We could not tell his dad, as he knew if we started to feed all of them, we would eventually fell in love with possibly one. When Bill would go to the store or just out of the house, I told him, those kittens needed to be cared for. So,Paul and I got the ladder and some canned food. Paul climbed up the ladder, throwing food on the ground. He forgot to keep the empty can and I had him climb over to retrie
ve it. If Bill got wind that we were feeding the kittens I would feel bad; as I told him we would not. I knew he was right about getting attached, but Paul and I felt bad for the little ones.

Eventually the kittens were on their own, as the momma cat wanted that...such is nature! Our two cats were getting older and I mentioned to Bill that we may want to adopt one. I coaxed him into climbing the ladder and looking at how very cute they were. Paul pointed out the Siamese mix...and history had it. Bill was still not keen on adopting another cat, but did.

As the years went by and Paul went off to College, Rusty became Bill's cat. We had a red blanket and that was Rusty's favortie, blankie. For years, he would climb into Bill's lap, in the evening; as Bill called it, "His Lap Time." Bill and Rusty did bond and they both looked forward to the Lap Time.

Our Rusty started showing age as the years went by, here on Rockport. He did what was expected of a cat getting older. He started to build a character of his sole and we saw him as such a special member of our family. He was a gentle old guy and pretty much slept a lot. He just stayed on his own and was never a bother. His buddy was Erbie; our other cat.... his brother, we called him. They slept together and as time goes on, I will see how very much Erbie will miss him.

When Rusty came to us, he was born without a tear duck in his right eye. He had a buck-tooth, that hung over his lip. He was our special guy. In the past few years, Rusty started to lose weight; which is normal. He had a step of his own...like a two step and another two step with a slight limp.. He had a cataract in his left eye, but never complained. He just kept going on. Rusty started to whine outside our bedroom door and we would let him in. He loved to snuggle and always wanted to be near us and stay warm.

With all the things that came to Rusty, I made light of; as it hurt me to see him age. I would refer to him, as my," Grumpy Humpity, One-eye,Buck-tooth, two stepper Rusty Dusty."

Bill and I took Rusty to the Vet, today and I decided to stay with him while the Vet injected the medicine that would take, our Rusty to Cat Heaven. I had him in my arms and pet him while waiting for the Vet to come in. I have never stayed with my pets, when they were put downas that was just too hard. I just felt I needed to be with him and he needed to have the last strokes and voice, to put him at ease. He went quickly, and I must say, as hard as it was to see him go, I am now glad that I did stay with him. We saw, with the time, as it came to relieve him of his pain, was the right thing to do. As I looked down at our Rusty, I told him how much we love him, that it was the best thing to do, and we will miss him so very much...

We love you, Rusty, Dusty....

We will miss you, Rusty...

Happy Birthday, Paul!

2007-01-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

Well, as I see this day, it's not another day...it's my sons birthday! Wow, 27 years old! I feel like I am just a few years older than he. O.K., I fib; just a little..my mind feels like I am, but my body differs with that one.

When I think of Paul and how very blessed we are to have him, I think of all the accomplishments he has done in his life.

Being born was one, as he was not really ready to come out and venture to new and good things on this earth. There he was, feeling all comfy and cozy while I carried him for more than the nine months. What a big boy he was....all, 9 lbs and 21 inches. Full head of hair (blonde) and cute as can be!!! The nurses thought he needed a, "New Doo", so they combed his hair, making him look like a cute little baby girl...NOT! I remember Paul being elementary age and telling his friend that, " my mom had me and "POOF" I was born...another NOT!! I was in labor for 21 hours and then a C-section; I don't think that was a ,"POOF!"

The years rolled by, so quickly for me, anyway. Elementary school was a breeze for Paul. Middle School was another thing, with bullies and all; he came out of those years...he came out with good grades and accomplished that! We all agreed it was time for Paul to go to a private school and so Monte Vista Christian, in Watsonville, was the place he finished his final high school years. He met many friends and with these days, spends lots of time with and remains close with. Paul went off to college and I do have to say, that was very hard for me, not to mention his dad. He finished and got his degree...an accompishment, we are both very proud of him for doing!

We all have things in our lives, that are hard to deal with, at times, and our Paul had his. But, with family and friends near by, we have seen another accomplishment, for him; he is doing well and we are so very proud of him.

So, with this day, being, "Paul's Day," his dad and I want to wish him the best ever.
We love you Paul and have a great day!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!

We love you!
Your Mom and Dad

Our Little Baby Gap Contestant

2007-01-02T09:06:00.000-08:00

I've noticed in the last few days, there has been something missing in my daily chores. Well, not so much a chore, but a pleasure. The first thing I did each and everyday when signing on to check what would be of interest to me when checking my email.

My first pleasure and wants, was to see that little Sarah was to get MY vote while being a contestant for the Baby Gap Contest. I feel in this extended family of Erin, Brent and Sarah that it has been indeed a pleasure to see that she would get my support; not wanting to be parcel, but really the cutest baby, In the LINE-Up!!!

With Bill working and not able to use the computer at work; for the voting, let me reassure all of you, that I DID remind him to cast his vote, when at home and checking his emails. At times he had done so and the others, I would put him to shame for checking his email, first, and not making the voting a priority. He was always willing!

Now with just a few days to find out, while the counting begins and the anticipation of who will be the next Baby Gap Baby, I must say it's been a pleasure to have had the opportunity to be one of the many voters out there to cheer Sarah on, with a vote of confidence that she will be the next....BABY GAP BABY!!!

It's been fun and with that I will thank her Mom for finding the fun in life and wanting to share with all.

Thanks DeeDee, as my fingers are crossed!

Love you....

2007-01-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

Merry Chrismas!

2006-12-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

From our house...to yours.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Bill, Joyce & Paul

Halloween Pictures ! (I HOPE)

2006-12-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

The photos from Halloween. Enjoy!

It is.....A Wonderful Holiday Season!

2006-12-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was truly a, Wonderful Holiday Season! Bill and I were out and about on this Sunday afternoon. We needed to visit Costco and turn in some film. While there we looked at, "Big Screen T.V.s" and off we went...do you believe we went in that store and did not leave with any purchases..... That's hard to do, as that is one of my favorite stores, to get different items!

I needed some extra, mini-Christmas bulbs for small trees throughout the house and we wanted some lunch, as well. As we walked out of Costco, Bill said he wanted to have a hotdog. Salinas, is not known for, "Fast Food Hotdogs," so, we decided to go to the
Home Depot, as they would hopefully have the mini-lights and we knew there was a new hotdog stand, yes, in the Home Depot! There were no lights, but the hotdog was a real treat...actually a good dog, expensive, but well worth it!

With still not lights in hand, we decided to go to Longs, on our way home. As we went through the Mini-Mall, to get to the Longs Drug Store, we noticed a few Police cars and men and some clerks that we know, when shopping at our favorite grocery store...Nob Hill. We continued on to the Longs Store, near the end of the Mall. We were parked, right in the front. I went in and began my shopping, for several things and did find my lights...at a 40% savings! I went to the register and the clerks started talking about taking a call about some person, "on the loose"...for what I did not ask! When I got out on the store, I noticed Bill motioning me to," GET IN THE CAR"! As I went to the car, I turned to my left and noticed 3 police officers, with guns pulled and in the corner; with what I thought, was a suspect. When in the car, I looked down to my left, again, at the Block Buster and there was yet another police officer, with his gun pulled, looking down towards the Longs Drug Store. Bill told me that he watched, all that was going on, while I was in the store. He did not want to get out and saw the officers motioning for people to get back in their cars..some just went on their way. Bill was thinking of all sorts of things, including that the, Person" may be in the Longs Store. He wanted to come in and see if I was alright, but decided with all the guns pulled and the fact that something, "Was", going on, he stayed in the car. When we got out of the Mini-Mall, we noticed so many cops and cars and still did not know what was going on.

Later in the evening, when getting in bed, we decided to watch the local news and heard that there was a felon who did break into a house, stole a gun and crashed his car into several cars in the Nob Hill parking lot. The suspect ran from the scene and was thought to be in the, LONGS DRUG STORE...YEP, and there I was, in the store, not knowing what was going on. In fact, I was at the register, when telling the clerks about when our Paul got robbed in Arizona and how I wanted to leave Salinas, partly because of the crime in this city! Many innocent by stander, in the right place at the wrong time!!!

Thank goodness, all went well and there was no one hurt. As far as the suspect, he is still, at large.

I do hope you all have a safe Holiday Season..just keep your eyes and ears, open to all.

Happy...Safe, Holiday Season!!!!
Love you...

Halloween at its best

2006-11-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Bill and I were invited to a Halloween Party..in fact it is now the 2nd and hope there are many more. Our friends, Richard and Jamie are so much fun and can put-on, only the best, party.

The real challenge, is to find the perfect costume and all the details that go along with them. We really were not sure what we wanted to be, until we were in our local Goodwill store. When entering, I went on my journey, to the back of the store. Not sure if you all are like me, being a, "Creature of Habit" and needing to go the same route, each and every time..but off I went.

Bill likes to look at everything, in detail...my mission, that day...."TO FIND THE PERFECT COSTUME"! I found where the Halloween "STUFF" was and there was a dress, long black, sort of a Gothic look. Really the only one that really stood-out, at me. I carried it around, until I came up-on the worse mask...ever and went to find, my Bill. He, at once liked the scary part and proceeded to find the rest of the costume. The cape was something he needed and there it was, among the rest of the costumes. He needed a pair of sandals and in his closet, they were. We had a bent-looking cane all he needed, now was a twisted rope for his waist. That he found at another Goodwill and his costume was all done.

I did buy the Gothic-looking dress and had the sandals at home. Found a long black wig and put it on....Not a nice sight, as I just got my highlights put in and at the forehead, one could see them. Not a pretty site, with the pitch-black, long wig. So, I decided not to wear if....besides, it kept sliding back off my forehead, and I could vision the, "Slippage"....after a few drinks!!! I found a plastic head piece (like a halo) and fixed it with black and gold netting for a long train- like affect. Put gold glitter, in my hair. Found a really neat belt and earrings at the Goodwill. So, off we went to the party.

Richard and Jamie have introduced us to many of their good friends. As you can see, many were dressed for the occasion. Lots of fun!

We are looking forward to the next Halloween Party and another, " Mission" to find our Costumes, next year!

Enjoy....

The Passing of Uncle David

2006-11-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well, the time did come....Bill's Uncle David passed away this Monday, Nov. 6th. We knew this would happen and after talking with his wife, Sara, last week there was a sense that it needed to happen, soon. David did, in some way try to remain here with us. Another, he was giving-up. He was in the Nursing home for almost 5 weeks. While there, he was not eating, not able to get out of bed, did not speak and the worse was that he was in so much pain. The Doctors there were trying to regulate his pain, but it was not happening. So, when hearing that, I was thinking, as hard as it was to think and say, he was not going to get better and death would take him from his constant pain.

As I said in my last blog, David was a soft and mellow man. With pride of his family and he would not want any to see him the way he was. He did not deserve this demon, of cancer; which was following him for more than 2 years. He did not deserve the pain, any pain, as he was a man of peace and love for all. His smile and sense of humor would melt you if you were in any pain.

It has taken a toll on my Bill. There have been so many; too many of his family members that are gone, in the past 20 years. Three Uncles, Three Aunts, his mom and his dear Granny. Now, with David's passing there is one to remain, and that is, Dear Sara,( Boog) as we call her. When the members of her family were taken from her, she was the one that stepped up to help, as did David. Boog was and still remains this way with neighbors and friends. Always coming to their hurt and being there with food in hand. She has been the strength for all. Now, she is alone; without her David. I see that God has been her strength within. Boog is not well, herself. She has much pain, with the arthritis and severe headaches, which has been with her for years. But she is a real trooper and always wanting to help others. I love her so.

Thursday, Nov. 9th, will be the services. We will not be able to attend, but will be there in thoughts and spirit, for the family. I am so fortunate to have had David in my life and truly will miss him, as will Bill and Paul. David was such a special man to us all.

So, farewell, David and we will someday be with you. We love you....

A Sadness Within

2006-10-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

In one of my recent blogs, I quoted my dad in saying that with good, there follows the bad. We learn from each, in our life, as I see it. Our little Hank Jr. was born into the family just a few weeks ago. So new, sweet and innocent, is the good. There will be his challenges in growing up in our world of turmoil, war, etc.

We are now going through our bad, with Bill's Uncle David dying of Cancer. David has been in battle with this demon, for more than 2 years. He has been through many treatments on Chemo and radiation. Has lost lots of weight and energy. Through all this, he has been very stoik. David is a man of much strength. A hard working man, all of his life. A very gentle man, as I have known him for more than 25 years. If you were to meet and be around him for any amount of time, he would make you laugh. There was a sparkle in his eyes, just before he struck you with his funny thoughts. He was a quite man, as well. You could see that his family meant the world to him.

David is in a nursing home, at this time. He is in much pain, and for me to hear this, is painful for me, as he only deserves the best. His wife is in his room, next to him for his comfort. Sarah and David have been married for over 40 years. A love between the two of them, is a love for all to have. So, with this, we are saddened and just in hope that David is kept without pain, in his lasting days/months?!

The good in this bad, is that David has been in my life and shared many things of wisdom and strength...and with this I have been blessed. We wonder why we lose special people in our life and it seems too soon for us and them...but, that is one thing we all are sure of...Death, another reminder from my father, of wisdom....that we are certain of and "all" have in common.

I am happy to share with you all, a man that is much loved!

Love you, David....

A New Challenge...

2006-10-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well, something new for me...starting a Pilates Class. Yolanda, a good friend of mine talked with me about the next class; as she had attended one and said it may help my back. With Pilates; a core strengthener, is the goal.

I was very interested in anything that would help my back. As if you know me, I have had 2 back surgeries and I am worse with the last one. I try to think positive, but the pain is constant and a reminder everyday. I wake up with severe pain and it does ease during the day, but then as I get ready for bed, the pain is back again.

I payed my dues, looking forward to a new challenge. I gathered my mat and comfortable clothing and off I went. I get tickled with the names of the exercises...like, "The Dead Bug", on our backs and arms and legs straight up in the air, trying to breathe with ease, while strengthening our core. " Scissors" is another one that makes me laugh. On our backs again and, with legs in the air and trying to vision cutting paper. The one that tickles me the most...we are once again on our backs. Hands are behind our neck, legs are in the position of getting ready to give labor....that's what my mind brings to me. I know, strange, but it does get me through the exercises. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that Pilates is for me. In my last session, I can't remember the exercise that has locked my back with more and different pain, but with the new pain, I don't think I will be going again. I was so hoping this was for me.

I have adjusted to my daily pain, with the surgeries, that have not helped, in the past. But, when a new pain comes along, it is and can be very much, another challenge.....to get better and go on with my daily habits and more. I am not complaining, please don't look at it that way...just another, purging.

Thanks for listening....

A Sudden Change...

2006-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

A woman is a woman, but not until one goes through...The Change of Life!!!! I have had it easy, when it comes to this, change. Here I am, 56 years young and no symptoms of the dreaded, change! I had my surgery to see what is going on; ruling out Cancer, as well. I have suspicions that my Dr. may have turned the lever, up, as I have now been going through with some symptoms.

I am reading Suzanne Somers book, on the Hormone Connection for both men and women. I will quote some from her impressive experiences, going through.." The Change!"

The 7 Dwarfs come to mind, when one experiences some of the change. Like, when Sweaty appeared, and I would awaken to the dreadful hot flashes. Pour Bill, covers off and covers on; as this does affect both of us.
I never know when these hot flashes will appear during the day, either. Not fun when all of a sudden, Sweaty takes a hold! Grumpy, is always close behind and I'm just not sure what to expect..Nor does Bill. Itchy, has me going and going. I feel as if I will no longer have any flesh on my arms with this one around.
Sleepy, now this one is the best...if only I could fix it, to help me get a good nights sleep!

I'm hoping that the other Dwarfs will stay a distance, for a while, anyway. I'm not sure that any of us, women and men, are exempt from these little Dwarfs, appearing, when they feel they need to.

Such is, "The Change of Life"...

A New Little One....

2006-09-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back. I decided that there was a need to get out there and post. My Nephew and his wife, Aaryon had a baby boy last Wednesday morning. Aaryon was due on the 21st of this month. Shawn and Aaryon took birthing classes and were not quite ready for what was to happen before the due date.

Aaryon went into labor on Tuesday and things were going well, until the baby started to ease its journey through the birthing canal. Apparently, the cord was wrapped around the babys neck and with each push on Aaryon's part gave a tug on the babys neck. There was mention of a C-Section, but the Drs. decided that the cord had to be cut while in the birth canal. So, that was done. Aaryon was able to push and the baby was born. But, there was notice that the baby was not breathing well, and he was very dehydrated. He was taken away immediately and put on a respirator. Aaryon and Shawn did not expect this and was kept from the baby for some time, while he was being monitored. Eventually the baby was taken off the respirator and breathing on his own.

With the early arrival of the baby, Shawn and Aaryon still do not have a name for the baby. I can say, that this baby made it through and into this world with a fighting will to survive and we are so glad that there was strength within. The baby and the proud parents are home now. In fact, Bill, Paul, Tom and I went to see this Miracle-little-one, yesterday. He is a beautiful baby boy. A little over 6 pounds and still a sleeper. We all took our turns holding the baby. Paul, still not ready, as he says, they are so fragile, at this time. I know, once the baby is able to hold his head up with ease, Paul will be on the floor with him and carrying him around.

I am so glad for the parents, that the ordeal they went through is over, and now they can get on with life, with their baby boy. We took a few pictures and I am hoping that they turn out and we are able to share with others.

Life, is truly a Miracle....

Is Anyone Out There?

2006-09-05T06:53:00.001-07:00

When Terry told me about blogging and starting an account for myself, I thought about it, long and hard. It's that,"NEW" thing that scares me. Terry told me about how Deedee started and all the pictures and experiences of her day, with Sarah. I read and sent comments, as others did.

Terry started to blog, then Meghan, also Lori. So, once again, I thought about this Blog Thing. I decided to give it a try and boy do you get, Hooked! Things, from ones past, seem to come to mind and that could be a good thing...depending on what is written. I found I enjoyed that and wanted to share with, " THE BLOGGERS"...guess that's what it is all about! Even looked forward to the comments.

Paul started to blog, and that was so important to him. He needed to do that, I thought, with the troubles in mind and to release that with others. His dad and I are so very proud of him! Friends are what blogging is about, too, as I see it. So, day to day, I looked forward to the entries of others. Read them and sent comments. But, I have found lately, that I need to step back and take a break from this, "Blogging Thing!" I have fun doing this and it brings a special time of the day, to look forward to all the blogs and doing my own. But, as I see, others are busy with their daily chores and with some blogs, I don't hear from them. I see that the comments to others are important. Does that bring to mind, that not many are reading blogs from others...Yes! So, maybe one is wasting, their time-of-the-day, with blogging? Yes, it is a good release and brings many laughs.

So, with this, I have decided to take some time off...guess one could say, " Going into, the Hibernation Thing...just like some animals!!!

Thanks to those, who have enjoyed my blogs, with the comments sent. That was always; "A Look Forward to the Day, for me!" Lots of fun!!!

Enjoy your blogging!
Love to all....

Is a

2006-09-05T06:53:00.000-07:00

A Sequel to a Bargain

2006-09-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went back to Kmart to retrieve another gas-grill for Paul. The manager I spoke to regarding the matter, was suppose to put a grill a side for me to pick up before noon. There was no grill. Do I say that I was mad...YEP! I wanted to speak with, "Steve the Manager", and he was off, for the day, lucky for him! I was on a mission and when someone tells me they will do something for me, I take that very serious.

I decided to take matters in my own hand and went outside to see if there were more grills. Lucky for the management; as there were. At first the sales person was going to give me the extra leg that was missing in the box. But, I could not remember which one was missing. You see, there are two long and two short. So, I decided to buy another grill. I took it up to the costumer service desk to pay. As I waited to purchase it, a manager came on the intercom. "Attention Kmart shoppers, with the current markdown of our clearance items, you can now take an additional 50% off of the merchandise." Well, as luck has it, I was in the right place, at the right time!!! The owner of a $129.00 gas-grill, now at $17.26!!!

A Bargain IS a Bargain! Anything for my Paul....

A bargain...

2006-09-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

You all know me....whether there's a sale at a local store, such as Target...my favorite store to shop at or going to a thrift shop, looking for something interesting....a bargain is a bargain!

Paul told me a while back that he wanted a gas grill. So, there was a mission; to find a gas grill! With the end of the Summer season, I knew there would be some sales. I'm not one to shop at Wal-Mart or K-Mart, but for my Paul; I was on the hunt!

I noticed a sale at K-Mart, so I decided to drive over and see what they might have. There were several gas-grills out in the front of the store....on clearance! I mentioned to Paul about the sale and he seemed intersted. I went back, knowing that with the end of the season, there would be another mark down. And there was!! Originally, the grills were $129.00, marked down to $64.95. I didn't buy one, at that time. Bill and I went back to see if there were any left...there were! But, still I decided to wait for the weekend, with it being Labor Day weekend, to see if there would be an additional mark-down.

Paul came down to spend the night on Friday evening. We all decided to get up and go for Brunch and then do some shopping.
Bill got his first check with his new job and he told me he wanted me to buy something special, for myself. I told him I wanted to go back to K-Mart and see if there were more grills left. So, off to K-Mart, we went. I was so excited, and got out of the car before the guys did. I made it to the sale items, and there were the grills.....at another reduction...now $ 32.95!! Paul grabbed one and off we went. The guys are always amazed at how I find the bargains...me, I think, I have a Gene within and that makes it easy!!!

Paul left early, back to do chores at his place. I decided I needed to do some garden work, out back. The weather was so nice and getting me outside and in my garden is always a special time for me, to relax and play! Several hours later, Paul called, saying he had opened the box of his grill and started putting it together. The grill had all the parts, with the exception of one leg...three were the same length and the fourth was shorter. Hum....I needed to do something about that!! With Paul being in Santa Cruz, and no K-Mart close by, I decided to call the Big-K, here. I went straight to the manager and explained what was wrong with the grill. I asked if he could see if there were any left outside. As when we bought the other one, there were just 3 left. There were, and I asked to have one put a side. At first, he was reluctant to do it. I will need to go back, before noon to buy another and have Paul bring the disabled one back, for me to get a refund, on that one.

With the mission of finding a grill for Paul....a bargain is a bargain!!!!

If only.....

2006-08-28T08:25:00.001-07:00

If only I could go back in time. I would change some things that matter, most to others. I've never been one to do harm, intentionally to others.... It's just against my grain. We go through life with many challenges. Even the ones that happen to others, give us a chance to learn from. There are the ones that are not with pleasure; those are the challenging. Like having to get up in front of a large class...that I can't handle with ease. I know, some of you would think the opposite with that one! Having to help others, now that's right up my alley...that can be a fun challenge! Finding the right card; may it be for a birthday, just to say, Hello, when one is ill, and then the right card, for a death of a special one. Those can and do bring a challenge to ones life.

We have but yet, one time on this earth. We will make that choice with the challenges ahead, to learn from all. If we choose to ignore what faces us, that is only the choice of the individual! That can do more harm, than good...as I see it. Life does go on.... but, there's something that is left behind.

Life, I feel, is truly what we make of it. If one seems to think of only the negative, then that's what they will have in front of them. Laughter is such a wonderful release of the everyday challenges...for me, anyway! I realize that I do see things in a different way, of others....but that's,"ME"!

At times, one will do or say something to others, without thinking, and that can do harm...we all have done that! I have been blessed to have family and friends around me, to help me along the way...to learn, be that, of a better person. I have had many struggles in my early life, to which at the time, were overwhelming..but looking back now, I have survived and become stonger. May the challenges be good or bad....that can be a good thing, to help us along the way of the daily chores in front of us.

If only.....

2006-08-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

Before the world changed...

2006-08-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

When I think of how our world was......pre 9/11.

1.) Getting up, without the worry of what could happen, next.
2.) Going to work and managing what is in front of us.
3.) Not having the constant reminder of the war at hand; we can thank G.W., for that!!!
4.) Being able to fill our vehicles with gas and not have to sacrifice a days pay.
5.) Not having to look at others with cause of fear, to what they might do, as far as our satety.
6.) Getting on a plane with our shoes on!
7.) Being able to take a bottle of water on the plane.
8.) For those who have babies: not having to taste the baby formula before getting on a plane.
9.) Not seeing or hearing of the daily sacrifices of our soldiers; in this mess-of-a-war!!
10.) I could go on and on with all that has changed our world and daily thinking of the next...that could happen...it isn't a thought that I want to continue to have...it's reality and a reminder of what our world has become.
We all need to take a look at what we have and enjoy all....

My Grandma Scherer

2006-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

When thinking of a Grandma...I think of my Grandma Scherer. Granny was born in Germany. She has been deceased for some time now.....and I miss her ever more. My mom would visit her mom every other year and I was always envious of that; as I wanted to go and be with, My Granny! There were times when Granny would come for a visit and stay with our family for weeks and even months at a time. I was always happy when she arrived. She had gifts for all...no that's not the reason I loved having her here!

Granny was a gentle person and so elegant. She wore the best clothes and shoes. Her jewlery, was to die for! I had thought many times over; when she came to visit, just how young she always looked. As years passed, my mom told me she had several facelifts. It didn't matter to me; as she was My Granny! She didn't like to speak of her age. On one of her visits, I remember taking her to our local coffee shop. I was so proud of her and wanted all to see. I remember introducing her as," My Grandmother!" She was not happy to have all hear that; as she said," don't call me that, in front of anyone!" We laughed when we got out in the car. She just looked at herself with such pride and I knew that. It really didn't bother me; as that was My Granny!

On one occasion, I remember Granny going out on a date. She had met a man at the local coffee shop. Granny would get her hair done every other week. It would be bleached or washed and styled. The date came in between her hair appointments and she needed to have her hair fixed. With no time to spare, she had my mom drive her down to the nearest drug store. There she bought a wig...a really ugly one! It had a cloth band around it and the hair part looked like cotton candy..to me anyway! Granny took pride , in that she would not leave the house or even answer the door without her make-up on and her hair done; not to forget the best clothes on.... Hey, that sounds like me!!! Anyway, the afternoon of her date, she decided to wash the "cotton candy" wig and hang it on the line to dry. We had lots of wind that day and my mom and I noticed it had blown dow. My Grandmother was outside, running after her wig..she did retreive it. She was ready to get all dressed up and waited for her date. I remember him being much younger than she; but that didin't matter, as she was happy. Off they went and to this day, my mom and I still laugh about what we saw.

Granny loved the beach, so I would drive her to the ocean. We would sit and talk about how beautiful it was. We had a small park up the street from our house and we would sit on a bench and talk there, too. She spoke English very well...I thought. She would occationally excuse herself with words of the English lauguage. We always understood ourselves and I always looked forward to being with her.

When Granny was back in her Country, we would write often. She knew how much I loved dogs and would always send me Doggie postcards....to this day, I have them in a box and cherish them. Granny would send us Christmas packages with lots of goodies. The Gummy Bears were the best, and not yet in the U.S. The cookies and cakes in Germany are not as sweet as ours here..which I like more. The wrappings on the gifts were so different and looked forward to getting everything she sent. I still have two German dolls she sent and would not part with them..ever!

I miss those days; with My Granny! She gave me many happy times when growing up and I love to think how much she influenced me in so many ways. I miss her so...

Dad's Medal of Honor...

2006-08-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

In a recent blog, I told of how I am trying to have my dad's status changed regarding the Medal of Honor. I have now reached a fork-in-the-road with this matter. A letter was sent to me with an explanation of what I need to do next. The Medal of Honor is not given out freely and one must go along with all the requests of the Department of the Army's wants and needs.
I am now asked to try and find any commanders, leaders, eyewitnesses and fellow comrades. When thinking of how I am to find any of those, is overwhelming; as I can't imagine any are still alive! I also need to submit my request through a Member of Congress; as with the time that has lapsed, this is needed. My brother has been on line, asking for help from anyone out there that had a member of their family at the site, with my dad.....No luck on that one!
I will keep trying to do what ever it takes to get this Medal for my father. He needs to be recognized as the loyal and dedicated man that he was and for the freedom of us all. A Solute to my Dad!!!!

Superman 2

2006-08-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

When writing and sending yesterday's blog we were not able to send the third picture. So, here is Paul before his disguise. I guess we could say, he is in his Clark Kent mode...hand on hip and with such authority!

2006-07-31T20:46:00.000-07:00

My Little Superman

2006-07-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

With the recent release of the movie, Superman; this came to mind, to share with all. Paul was very much into the Super hero's and his room was filled with many of his hero's'. The first Superman movie, staring Christopher Reeve was in the theaters. The rage in sleepwear was comic-like pagamas. So, off to K-Mart for the newest P.J.'s for our Paul. He was thrilled to have those P.J.'s and wore them "all" the time!
It was close to Paul's birthday and so I made a Superman cake, for him, family, and friends to share....he was thrilled! His birthday is in January and he turned 3years old. The months went by and October came, along with Halloween. To no surprise to us, Paul wanted to be dressed as...Superman! With his P.J.'s in hand we needed to finish the costume. I made a cape, found some tights, red boots and a mask. He loved that costume! Halloween was just around the corner and Paul was so excited to go out, for all to see. Paul wore those P.J.'s to bed and in the morning we would find him with them on and all the attire of his costume. He ate his breakfast and wanted to go out in the back, to pretend he was, The Superman of all times. We watched from the window to see him fly with his arms extended, around the perimeter of the yard. We even went across the street to show one his favorite neighbors just how proud he was to be, Superman. I really think his Mom was the proudest!!!!
Halloween came and Paul was so excited, he wore the costume all day, minus the mask; as it seemed uncomfortable while wearing it. I made the holes on the mask a bit bigger for him to see better, and off he and his dad went. I decided to stay home and hand out candy. This was actually, Paul's first venture out for Halloween. He was off holding his dad's hand....but really, I thought, he was flying high! Bill said at one point with the mask on and Paul's big eyes peering through, he was ready to come back home. Off to bed he went and I'm sure his dreams were of his Superhero. My thoughts were and to this day.....Paul is our Superhero....

A Great Day!

2006-07-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

The last three weeks have been on my mind a lot; to say the least! I had surgery on Monday, the 17th, to rule out cancer of the uterus. With other family matters to assist with, I felt a need to concentrate on those, and not my own. Perhaps, I thought I was going to be o.k., or I needed to get off my mind what COULD have changed life, with the results of my biopsy? I woke up this morning, knowing that I had my appt. with my Dr. Bill went with me, for the support, we both needed. We were assured that all is well and with that we know longer carry that burden on our shoulders. With that, life goes on......as it has and I can't tell you all how that makes Bill and I feel. Someone is looking out for us...and I am so very glad that my life is as usual. Thanks to all that knew about what was happening and the prayers and thoughts from all. May family and friends be with us for a long time....

My Erbie

2006-07-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

Erbie the cat came to us almost 11 years ago. He's a very affectionate cat; to say the least. If you want to be bugged...stay around long enough and he will do that with great pleasure. Erbie was rescued from a pound when he was a kitten. There was a Rescue service that would take kittens and foster them while looking for a good home for each of them. We had lost a cat that we had for thirteen years,looking of old age and I was heart stricken about that. I was in a pet store looking to adopt and saw him. Each kitten had a resume attached to their cage and what I read, suited me. When deciding on him, we needed to be interviewed to become the owners. All worked out for us and we brought Erbie home. My cats have always been indoor cats. I never liked the idea of having them stay outside and bother other neighboors, plus the thought of them bringing a rodent as a trophy didn't appeal to me. We had him fixed and he became a good companion; to me any way. Bill says he's a pest because he needs so much attention and wants it all the time. Me, I've excepted him for who he is...our family pet! Erbie got out one day and I was devestated. I looked all over the neighborhood, calling his name and with no response I decided to visit the local pound, seeing if he had been brought in; even looking at the daily rosters to see if he had been brought in and had died. I did this every day for almost two weeks. I thought it would be a good idea if we printed out posters and taped them all over the neighborhood. No luck and still with lots of tears I would visit the pound in hopes to find him....with still no luck. One Saturday when Abby had gone out for her morning potty time, I went to the door and there was Erbie, just standing there next to Abby at the door. Well, I swooped him up and took him upstairs to give him a bath. I didn't know where he was for those days and what he may have picked up so in the tub he went. With the other two cats we have I needed to be careful with that. I can't remember when Erbie started to sit like he is in this picture, but it's a good one...Enjoy!

A Hairy Experience

2006-07-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent a good part of the day with Terry and her sister, Lori. We had snacks in the back yard and shared lots of stories about many things. From here, we decided to go "Thrifting".....when that comes up, there is no hesitation on going! We talked about coloring our hair and haircuts. The haircut topic brought to mind about what I did to mine and my brother's teddy bears. They were different colors; mine was pink and his was blue. I had a baby doll high chair and thought it would be a good thing to see if I could change the way they looked. I got my father's shaving cream and razor and sat each bear in the chair. I can't remember which was first for their NEW look, but away I went. I remember putting shaving cream on my brother's bears head, first. He needed a flat-top, so that's what I gave him. He needed to have his face shaved, so I gave him a mustache. Then I decided to shave my bear and give her a NEW" look too. So, I put the shaving cream on her head and took some of her hair off. Can't really remember the exact look she had, but I know I didn't shave her face; that was a guy thing! My brother was very upset to what I did to his bear and if I recall, he never played with his bear, again....too much of a "NEW" look, I guess. That was the start of me getting my license in Cosmotolgy; which I don't practice, now. Perhaps the experience of the hair cuts for our bears brought back too many ugly thoughts!

Sharing our day with friends

2006-07-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

It was such a good day on Saturday, as Tom and Terry came to spend some time with us. It was a beautiful day; with lots of sunshine and good food. Bill decided to make a Southern meal: coleslaw, cat fish, and hushpuppies. Along with that, was ice tea; sweetened, that is. With Tom being a Southerner and Bill as well, Bill decided on that menu. Boy, was that meal a good one! I had lots of back pain that day, but with our good friends here and with all the laughs, it helped to keep my mind off of that..me and my darn back!!!! We are at a distance with Tom and Terry; as far as different states, but it has never stopped us from getting together and having a GREAT time. Seems like, at times, we start off where we finished on the last visit. It's such a soothing feeling to have such good friends to have in our lives.....no pretense on ones part. We all want to talk at the same time; as I see that in my eyes, maybe because we have a short time together or it being a Southern thing? That's what Bill has always said, because he had a large extended family and when they all got together, one had to fight to get a word in. It was always funny to me to; as I came from a small unit. I just started to but-in like they all did. Don't get me wrong....I loved being around his family! There is a caring spirit when one meets the love of a Southerner....I will vouch for that!!! Thanks for being in our lives, Tom and Terry!

My Abby

2006-07-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

You all know how fond I am of animals. I have had dogs from the time a I was a small child. A pet is a luxury..or it should be, once they enter your life. We should treat them with the respect and love they deserve; as they will do the same for the owner. My Abby came to us almost 13 years ago. She is a mix of Black Lab and we think Queensland . What a cute and loving, 6 week old puppy. She was one of three pups left in the litter and very shy. With that, I wanted her; as I thought with that character, she might be treated badly. I know we picked the right one! As a puppy though, we had our doubts. She decided to pull lots of my plants out of the garden, dig holes in the back yard, even chew on the redwood outdoor furniture we had. I worked at that time and that's when she did all the damage. We were at Wits End to what to do. Bill threatened to take her to the pound; I would not hear of that! So, I decided to do some research and found out that Abby has Seperation Anxiety Syndrome. I took her to dog obedience training and she did ok; as long as she was with me. She really didn't do well with the other dogs, though. When driving up to the parking lot, all she did was bark at the others. It was hard to get her to be in the crowd of the other dogs, as well. Once we got in the circle; dogs of all kinds and their owners, we did what was expected. We did our six weeks and the instuctor mentioned that I should do more; as Abby needed to learn how to be with other dogs. I decided not to. Even with this; not liking other dogs, I was excepting her as she is. So, I did training in the back yard. She learned to sit on command, stay for some time in one spot, shake hands, and lay down. I taught her to get the paper in the morning; as Bill didn't like to go out with his Sticky-uppy-hair; for all to see. So, our Abby did that for us. Taught her to go upstairs with a bag in her mouth to fetch something I needed. With bag and a note, she went up to the first landing, turned to look at me and I told her to, go see Bill....she did! Down she came with the bag swaying back and forth and dropping it at my feet. With that, she got her doggie cookies. When Abby barks too much, I would tell her to go upstairs and lay down in her bed..she would go, leaving hurt; I could tell. Like a Time Out, with 20 minutes in her bed. I would call her after that time but she wouldn't come down. I would go upstairs to tell her it was o.k. and she would follow me down stairs; happy at that time! When the phone rings and we decide to screen the calls, she howls when the answering machine picks up; as to say, the phone, you need to pick up the phone!!! How smart is that! Abby even played Soccer with me. She would always have two toys, one stuffed animal and a ball. The ball would be the first to let go, and the stuffed animal still in her mouth. I would kick the ball and she would either return it to me with her nose or her paw. We would do that while I did my make-up and hair. So, that could be a good 45 minutes, at a time. We enjoyed that time together. If one of our indoor cats gets on furniture or something we tell them no to do, Abby is on a mission to get them off; nugging them with her nose. She will look at us and come for a pet; with a "Good Girl", and a pet on the head...She loves that! Now that our Abby is up in age, she does some of the tricks, but we can see her slowing down. She was recently diagnosed as having , Cushings Disease. There is no cure. As time goes on and symptoms appear, she will be put on meds., and they can sometimes, as the Vet has said, cause damage to her other vital organs. I cried my heart out when I was told of this. That was back in April and we still have our, Abby. When reading more about her condition, it is commen with her age, being a female and her breed. She isn't in pain; with that we are blessed. We now just love her, and are thankful she is still here with us. As I have always said, our pets are not with us long enough. I love my Abby Girl....

A New Little One

2006-07-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Bill, Paul, and I were on our way to the Watsonville Hospital...for a very pleasant event. Meghan and Dave have their new baby, Charlotte Ann Ryan! It was so good to hear and see that baby and mom were doing so well. We had gifts, in hand for all. Baby Charlotte had a crib full of goodies, Meghan, some flowers from my garden and a bottle of beer for Dave. .....I didn't want to leave him out; as he did a lot in the labor room, too! I bet he would have liked to have that cold beer when all that was happening?! There stood Terry, the proud Grandma of a new little baby granddaughter; just rocking her so gently. Terry was so proud to have that baby in her arms that she immediately said, " here do you want to hold her," I was a bit set back ; as she was willing to release her from HER GRIP! I held little Charlotte for a good 20 minutes, also rocking her and looking down at her perfectly small face......she is truly a beautiful baby, for just being born, having to go down, those long flight of steps to enter this world. As my son, Paul said one day when visiting with a friend, when I was born, "POOF," and there I was! Not even the right word to say; as there were 21 hours of labor for me, and that was hardly a, "POOF," on my part!!! Never the less, we have our Paul and Meghan and Dave have a New Little One in their life. Happy Baby......Happy Parents!

An Ocean Tale

2006-07-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

With Summer here these thoughts come to mind about going to the ocean with my dad and my brother. My family had come to the U.S. from a stay in Germany for two years. My dad, being in the Army gave us the opportunity for that visit. Now stationed at Fort Ord, Ca., we were off for another adventure. My father loved the outdoors and one thing in particular was...Fishing. We had settled in a rental for a few short weeks until my parents found housing at the base. Once settled in, my dad was ready for a trip to the beach. My brother,11 years old and I, 9 years old were invited to go along. I know in my heart, dad wanted one of us to pick up a fishing rod and fish with him. That wasn't going to happen for me, as I did not, first of all, want to put bait on a hook and then catch the poor fish...... me being the animal lover; still as of today. I remember being so excited to be with my dad and my brother. We packed a lunch and got up, leaving for a day at the beach. Once we got there, I was all over the sand. Running up and down the beach, looking for treasures, like special, one-of-a-kind shells, finding seaweed to throw back into the ocean and making a LOT of noise. I've always been the, "Mouthy-One", in the family! My dad was very patient with Tom and I. I'm not sure if at this point he was glad to have me there...... making all that noise! He had his tackle box in hand and sat down to start the procedure of taking out the perfect bobber and fish hook, to catch a fish. I can see him now, casting out the line and reeling it in some and waiting patiently for a tug of the line and a catch. Tom and I were waiting for the water to go out some and we would run out, dig a hole and try to get sand-dabs. Of course, I had to throw mine back in to save them! Back and forth, up and down the beach, making a lot of noise. My dad at one time stopped, looked at me and told me I had to be quite or the fish wouldn't bite. I stopped immediately and sat down....to remain quite for a good while, as I truly believed what he said......He was my dad! I'm sure deep down inside he got a kick out of that! Here I was, 9 years old and so gullible... I loved that day; just me, my brother, my dad and All those fish!

Our Hopes, Our Dreams, Our Fears

2006-06-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Recalling my many years with one man in marriage of 27 years I think how fortunate I am in having this peace with-in. Sometimes in ones life the experiences we go through make us who we are. My father always said," life is what you make it to be.... Good follows bad and bad follows good!" When growing up, even with the many lonely times I experienced, I could not hear those words...Of much wisdom. As a child, even in our teenage years we all think our parents are just talking to be talking. With their experiences of the their past come that wisdom. In some way or another, we all go through similar hurts, fears, and pain; may that be physical or in our hearts. When the , "Good" comes our way, we need to learn from that, as when the "Bad" comes, we need to learn from that. So, with the respect to my dad, and his wisdom of these most powerful words, I am able to go on in this life; as this is our only time to experience what is before us. I am blessed with what I have and with each and every day. It is with Our Hopes., Our Dreams, and Our Fears that make us all, who we are and that life does really go on.....

The 4th of July

2006-06-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

With the 4th nearing brings me to that day of Independence. We all love the idea that with Summer here there is that celebration on the day, for all. I can already see the hoopla on T.V., in the supermarkets, just everywhere. The day arrives with great pleasure for most. I still celebrate, but with someone in my life that is no longer here...my dad. My father was a gentle and kind man, to all. If you were lucky to have met him, you would want to see him again. He knew no strangers, as he was always willing to share a conversation with you. He laughed a lot and made others do the same. He loved to get together with the family. He seemed to be the glue for my mom, my brother and I. He was a man of wisdom, not education. A man with strong commitments to his family and friends. He spent 29 years in the U.S. Army, with great loyalty and love for his Country. A better mam, my mother would always say, you could not get. I have found myself wanting to be the "Glue" for our family...if for nothing else, for my dad., as that would make him proud to know we are trying to be a family. My dad passed away almost 23 years ago.....that day is the 4th of July! So, with that in the nearing, you can see why this date comes to mind so clearly for me. Knowing my dad, he would have picked that day for leaving us, as he was so very proud of our Country and Independence Day. May you all have a great day on the 4th.....

Anniversary Greeting's!

2006-06-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

When I think of a wedding, I think of Tom & Terry's. From the first of the many conversations Terry and I had about meeting Tom, I thought to myself; this is a catch for her. We had many long and loving talks with the things they did together and how truly my friend felt about her, "Tom!" The Adarandock Chairs come to mind. She was so surprised to get those. Not only one for her, but one for Tom...now there's a sure catch on his part; if I've ever heard of one. As Terry ofter says, " I'm fit to be tied!"......Boy, now that's a statement so very true!! She was, Smitten, as one would say! When the time came for the wedding plans, she only told a few and I was one of them. I'm not too keen on flying, so in order to get me there for the Surprise Wedding for all, I was told, and I had to keep it Top Secret! If my memory if correct, that was almost 6 months of planning and I was to hold the secret from,"ALL!" Tom wasn't sure of that idea, but I held at bay. The wedding went as planned and it was the most fun. So, here is, another year with each other and I wish you many, many more. As this is a true marriage with so much love. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO TERRY & TOM! .....lOVE YOU BOTH

Graduation for Paul

2006-06-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

With this graduation time for so many young and old, I'm reminded of our son, Paul and his great High School days at Monte Vista Christian School, in Watsonville, Ca. I know with Paul being a late sleeper, he was willing to get up and ready for the long ride in the bus and meet with his freinds there at the school. He felt better being in a private school, away from the hassles involved at public school. We only feared the bus ride and traffic for his safety, and was at peace that he was in good hands at M.V. He made the basket ball team and loved every minute of it. We were so proud of him. He made many friends and to this day still keeps in touch with them. With 5 years behind him at M.V. his graduation was near. He was picked to be on the Homecoming Court and boy did that make his dad and I proud. There he was, looking very handsome in his tux. The students picked, were given a convertable and the back seat for all to see, while they drove around the track....beaming! There we were, Bill and I in different spots taking pictures of the students and of course our Paul. Each student had put together a short paragraph of their future hopes and dreams. When it was Paul's turn he stated that he would eventually want to be happy, get married, have kids and take care of his parents. I could hear sighs from some around me, to that last statement he read. When all was done and Paul getting ready for the evening with friends, I stopped him at the door before he left and said," what did you mean, that you were going to take care of your parents", do you mean financialy or put us in an old folks home"? He said, " oh mom, you guys are 90% alright"! Wow, that was good enough for me to hear, as we must have done a good job up to that point...parenting, that is. Needless to say, Paul was not chosen for King...but in my eyes, he will always be My King!

In the Eyes of a Daughter

2006-06-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

With the war in Iraq and Father's Day just passing I think of my father...my dear and loving dad. My father passed away in 1984 just shy of his 63rd birthday. With his passing, I felt the urge to read all that my dad did for this Country and for my family. He had a breif case full of many things that had happened while in the Army. So, I decided to start a letter to the President. At that time, President Reagon was in office. My father was an exceptional soldier in the U.S. Army. Served 29 years and in five wars. One in particular was in Korea, 1951. On this date my father's company was enrooted to the Chosin Resevoir in convoy when the column was subjected to intense automatic weapons and the small arms fire from a large enemy force, well -entrenched at a strong road block. When the enemy pinned the troops down, my father realizing the seriousness of the sittuation, voluntarily assumed the road block. His forceful act of aggressive leadership drove the enemy from their postitions with heavy casualties and enabled the column to advance. The officer in charge just froze and my father did what he thought was needed; as it turned out to be. To these findings there is no record on my father receiving or being considered for his bravery of saving the few soldier's left in the convoy. I was appalled to see no Medal of Honor for what my father did for the troops; therefore I decided to write to President Reagon. Unfortuallty with the emotions of just losing my dad, I stopped and that was almost 22 years ago. Now with my mother in her 80's and the reminder of this war, brings me to write a letter and that is what I have done. I feel my mother, brother, Paul and I deserve this award for my dad. With the help of Bill and all the information we have, as far a records and news clippings, we now have a case number and because of the many applications on hand and the comlexity of many cases, it may take as long a twelve months before we receive notification of the decision of our application. I am alright with that, as I am hoping the decision will be the right one, as we all deserve this for our father and my mother's husband. My dad was a proud man and a loyal soldier to and for his Country. He had seen much death in all the wars and I am so very proud of him and miss him dearly. May this war in Iraq end soon.......

Father's Day

2006-06-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'm married to a wonderful man. My Bill is, warm, giving and a sensitive man with lots of love that he gives to both Paul and I. I think he just turned out to be a wonderful and compasionate person to all he associates with. Even thought Bill didn't have a father around for most of his life, he had a great and loving family.....which consists of his mother, Annie, Grandmother Hester,( we all called her Granny) a Grandfather, to whom he had always thought to be like a dad that he didn't know or see. Lots of Aunts, Uncles and cousins around. So, one can see the love he was provided and, as they all considered him their own. Bill is open to all that comes his way. He thinks long and hard to what needs to be done with any situation. When my father died in 1984, he was the one that came to the rescue, helping us through all that needed to be done. Getting the casket, writing the obituary, as that was not something any of my family could do at the time. Through the death of his Grandfather( his strength), his mother, ( his love), his grandmother( her warmth), and his many Aunts and Uncles that he has lost, he has become the man that he is today. Having our son, Paul has given him a different perspective of being a father and in some ways I think not having his own dad around, and what it has been like ,to go through all, has driven him to want it more for Paul, than for himself. Bill's dad is still living, in fact in Andrews N.C., where Bill and his mom had met. We were able to meet him and visit with his 5th wife, (which origianlly was his 1st).......that's another story in its self. So, Austin is now in Bill's life and Paul's. I have to admit that Paul was very angry with the way Bill was treated all these years ,( without a father image) and really did NOT want to meet Austin. When we made a trip back to N.C. a few years back, Bill mentioned that he wanted Paul to meet Austin.....that was something that Paul DID NOT want in his life! He was always so very angry with this. When Bill explained he wanted him to do it for him, he agreed, as I think Paul will do anything for his dad! Actually there is a story I would like to share, as it brought all of us to the recent connection with both Austin and his wife, Gladys. When Bill's Grandmother passed away , which has now been over 6 years, Bill needed to fly back to N.C. and deal with the estate. Bill's mom and Grandmother lived together for some 50 yrs., as Annie never remarried. ( I have always thought Annie was still in love with Austin). Bill's Uncle David lived across the street from Annie and Granny's house. There was a local Flea Market called, "Hillbilly Flea Market," down in town. David had asked Bill if he wanted to see the place. So, off they went. On occasions there was a local band that played there to provide intertainment for the locals. David and Bill walked in and there was Austin listening to the music. In Austin's youth and even now in his 80's, he has a band and loves to sing. David and Bill went up to him and there they stood. David introduced Bill to Austin as, this is Billy Ensley. Austin shook his hand and went on his way listening to the band. Within a few minutes, Austin said," well with the name Ensley, we must be related, who's you daddy?" Bill put his hand on his shoulder and said," You Are!" My heart went out to Bill when he called that evening to tell me what had happened. With tears streaming from my eyes, I just couldn't beleive what I had heard. Bill claimed that he thought it was all too funny. As Bill has always said to me that he really can't be angry at someone he had never known as a friend, let alone a dad. After that, Gladys come into the picture and she really wanted us to visit them in their home. Also, for Bill and Austin to get to know each other. So, we now have had that chance to visit with them and talk on the phone. It didn't surprise me when Bill mentioned sending some pictures and a card to Austin, for Father's Day. We grilled yesterday and as the coals were getting hot, Bill called his father to wish him a good day. As, you can see, Bill has gone through what he has and turned out to be that man he is......in spite of not having his own father around. Thanks for listening, as it brings both tears and joy for me to write.

2006-06-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

Grocery shopping

2006-06-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

Deciding to go grocery shopping is a chore.... for most of us. What do I need? Should I buy groceries for the week? Or do I do like most, and go on a daily visit? Once there, cart or basket?Depending on ones needs and wants for the meal is a question that enters all of our minds when we shop for groceries. I decided one afternoon to visit our local Grocery Store. I decided on a cart, as you know if you get that you can buy on the impulse....nice and big, to just throw whatever your heart desires. I went on my way through the store putting the items I needed and them some, in my cart. I heard a small child crying and crying throughout the store and thought to my self,"that little one needs something to eat or a nap." The parent was yelling at her child, about what I didn't need to know. This went on for sometime. The yelling..the crying. I continue my shopping....seemed like slow motion, with the constant crying of this little person and her parent yelling. It also crossed my mind, that this parent needed child rearing classes. Boy, did I want to tell her that!! I stopped at the meat dept., you know how you leave your cart for just one second to view the meats and then on my way I went. More minutes into this shopping event and I heard this woman yelling," someone stole my shopping cart!" She kept yelling, "someone stole my shopping cart." I thought, oh brother, here she is worried about the cart and her little one is hungry or tired. I got in line and put my groceries on the belt...within seconds, after all my items were on, I realized these were not my groceries.....I was the one that stole HER cart...opps! Being next in line to pay, I needed to get out of line and put all the groceries back in to HER cart and went back to retrieve MY cart. There it was, with the beginnings of my groceries and I just quietly left HER cart there. I could still hear her yelling," someone stole my cart! " It's not like the store had just one of what she had, but her hands had put those in HER basket and she HER CART!! I was glad not to see her when I left HER basket where I stole HERS! I find things like this to be funny, whereas some may not, not her little one crying, but that I was the one with HER cart! It was an honest mistake on my part and gee it's not like I took her child!

2006-06-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am attempting to try blogging. This took far too long for me to set-up my account...it is the simpilist things that draw tears and frustration for me. Thanks goodness I am an Aries, as my horns and stubborness rose to the occasion. I went at it with fury and here I am...a I get any responses? Did this come to mind for you when you dove into this new beginning? I have enjoyed reading all from Terry, Lori, Erin, and Megan, so I ventured out to see if this is worth the effort...I shouldn't say, effort, but with putting all this together, it seems to be. For you who know me, I can talk a lot. To Erin and Megan, you can thank you mom for this. Same to Lori , for your sister's assurance that this will be fun. So, here I am whether you are ready of not.