I am a Grandmother~

Well, I am that...a proud grandmother. Owen was born on May 21st...a healthy 7lb. with a full head of hair, blonde hair at that. Bill and I drove to Santa Cruz to see our new grandson. Wow, seeing him and knowing he is now an Ensley makes us proud. Seeing Paul and how proud he was to finally have a child of his own, was overwhelming for me. While sitting in a rocker and holding Owen I looked at him in amazement. His features were so small and his little face was deep in thought. I could see some Paul and Lex in him. At times he would scrunch-up his mouth that reminded me of "The Elvis"...one side of his lip curled up with that famous look. His little mouth would pucker, his eyes would occasionally open with much confusion of what was going on and just where the heck am I, look. In wonder, while holding him did I think of Alexis's father, Pat who passed away in March of this year. In fact a few times while looking into Owen's face did I see some resemblance of him.
The journey of being a grandparent is just starting. I will see and feel the love from a small child that has come to us and will be loved till the end.
Happy Grandmother, to me~

Grandmother in waiting....

It's been far too long since I did a blog...anyone out there still willing to read one? Much has come my way in the years of not doing a blog...but I wish not to post all of the past. So, the present is what I wish to share. I will soon become a grandmother to a baby boy who's name will be Owen Patrick. Patrick is the name given in honor of Alexis' beloved father who passed away in March of this year. It will be a "forever" rememberance of her dear dad, for Lex. and for all. I received a book from my best friend when she found out I too will be a grandmother. Its title: "Funny, you don't Look Like a Grandmother" I have truly enjoyed the warm, telling and funny stories. How can you regognize today's grandmother?...I am referring to a note on the binder of Lois Wyse(author). It reads, "A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do." So, with that message, I will begin to view the "other side." A side of life that will be a delight for me to have in my next journey with our grandson. I am so looking forward to the next generation of the Ensley's....as that will begin sometime around June 4, which is the due-date of little Owen Partick. Let the blogging begin and a "Thank You" to my very best friend, ever, Terry, for the uplifting and delightful book on " Funny you don't Look Like a Grandmother." See you all soon~

My new friend...

It's one thing to meet people that we immediatly feel that they will be part of one's life, to share the many journey's we have in our lives, but this friend I have been introduced is really my very best friend....not to up set my other "best friend", Terry. It's been a journey I so looked forward to having in my many years of chronic pain. A daily routine that others have in doing the simple things in their life, like bending, sitting for long periods of time, doing gardening for enjoyment, and all the other daily functions that we all do and deserve. I would have to think before I did those things that made me happy, to think, "better not do anything that will take away the remainder of the day with chronic pain just around the corner."
It's been a little over 5 weeks since my Neurostimulator has been implanted. I was sore for the first 2-3 weeks, with the insiscions that were made to place the battery and leads in my back. Once that was better, I now can do the simple things that others can/have done. The sitting on the computor and talking on the phone is the best.....no residual pain, now. My gardening is something I now look forward to doing...whenever I want...less pain. Volunteering, at our local American Cancer Thrift Shop is a joy for me...I can do what I wish...with less pain. Driving in the car,to help my mother get to the doctors appointments and grocery shopping...less pain. Just about everything I do, now is with less pain. I do have an occasional bout, like yesterday, when I decided to wash Baylee, our dog, work in the yard for a few hours, and even start cleaning out my closet. I think what caused some residual pain was the trying on the clothes to see if they either fit or that I no longer wanted them...that's what was the kicker in having some pain...but, not near the pain I have had since the surgery. But, I do know, now, that I really can't do all that in one day....something I needed to experience, I guess. Needless to say, I can and will be able to have a better quality of life, like all of us deserve.
So, I think you all can understand that this device is a "best" friend that hopefully will stay in my life forever...as it truly has changed my doing and thinking on that "daily" basis!

Again, thanks for all the concern from others that I have had for almost 30 years of chronic pain in my back...not to forget the chronic pain I felt in my mind, dealing with this misery!
Love to all.....
Happy Day!!!

My Stim....Day 9

Well, here it is day 9 and I am without my trial stim. I had my last appointment with my doctor and the tech, yesterday. Our discussion was about how I have felt in the past days since I saw them...it was fantastic! Very little pain with the leads and a success, as far as I am concerned!!!
The leads placed just below my belt line and just under the skin were removed. I asked the doctor why I could not leave them in and it was stated because of a risk of infection.
Within a few hours I had the start of some pain...really not too bad. I did, however not sleep as well I did when the leads were in. I have decided that I really need to be very careful not to do things that will aggrivate my getting into the pain mode. I am in constant pain, throughout the day, but I will have to start to become more aware, with thought always in mind, once again.
Just 3 weeks away. I really don't look forward to having surgery, but I will do what is needed to have the quality of life, I have experienced in the last week. There is now hope, without the thought of another major back surgery!
I thank those who have made comments on my blog, with the happy notes and encouragement you have given for me while I was, "in trial!"
I am so looking to the days after the surgery and the healing, so that I can get on with my life and so the things that others do, without the dreadful daily pain!
I have decided to get this done, as I have a wedding to look forward to and that is for our son, Paul and his future bride, Alexis..
Let the party begin, as I am looking forward to that exciting day!!!
Love you all....
Joyce

Day 3 and 4 with my Nerve Stim...

Well, here it is already days 3&4 with my nerve stimulator placed in my lower back. I have not had to take any medication for the entire time, since the surgery on Wednesday....such a "good thing!" I volunteered at the shop...that went well. Yesterday was a fun day. Alexis had her Bridal Shower and it was a good turn-out. I met more of her family, like her grandmother and her daughter. Alexis' Aunt is an interior decorater and did a beautiful job with all the set-up and the food. I was just in-awe with what she had done with the tables and the colors were wonderful.
Alexis was all dolled-up with her hair done-up. What I mean with that, is she had her hair done like she will be wearing it for the wedding. One of the games we played was: Name all the things Alexis is wearing, today and what her wedding dress will look like. She had to leave, the room and we all sat, with pen and paper in hand. After winning and telling all what I had wrote, here is what I saw.
Alexis was wearing:
Pearls in her curls of hair.
Jeans
Boots
Engagement Ring
Sweater, tan and beige
Earrings
Eye liner
Mascara
Eye shadow, dark
Lipstick
and even, and not to forget, her nose ring...well, that got a laugh, but, she was wearing that too!
As far as the dress:
All lace, with an under lining of beige silk.
It is sleeve-less
That's all I could remember about it.
But I WON!!!
Knowing me, the beautiful Wine Stopper was just what I got....as I love my wine!
So, with that happening throughtout the day and me having to sit for that long period of time, there was still very little pain....that's a good thing!
Today I will volunteer at the shop, once again, and hope the rest of my day goes well, just like the other days while I TRIAL!!!

Day 2 with my Nerve Stim....

Well, here it is day 2 and I am having better days than expected. I did see my doctor and the Rep. yesterday. I did get another level, where the "stinging" was changed. I went out in the front yard and decided to challange myself with the one thing that causes much pain...my gardening! When I just sit on my garden wagon, for minutes, that aggrivates my back. There I was all bent over for almost an hour...Yeh!!
It felt so good to be in the sun, with my garden tools at hand...no pun, with that one! When I did start to have some pain, I stopped. After gathering-up my tools and wagon, I had thoughts in my mind that I would indeed have lots of pain, as that is what follows with any actions that start the pain...well, I was pleasantly surprised that I did not!
I decided to do the next thing that most aggrivates my back pain...sitting! I went to the back, to enjoy our garden, with Bill. We sat there, talking about what occured in my, " adventures in my garden," he asking my how I felt. With a smile on my face, I told him that I did well and I had yet to take a pain pill. As a matter of fact...I did not take one, the whole day! Having the nerve stim. is a good thing, as the doctor states, most patients do not need to take as many, with this device.
So, day 3 is here, I will do another thing that causes my pain...volunteering at our local American Cancer Discovery Thrift Shop, here in town. I look forward to being there, not only for the dispaying of the items that come in, the people I work with, the many locals that come in, and knowing that what we sell goes to finding a cure for the dreadful disease of Cancer. I will look forward to doing all the things that do me in, at the end of my shift: like the walking, bending, standing, crouching, twisting and merchandising I do when I work. With the challange, I will see if my device helps me through the day. The trial is all about doing what I wish to do...how much less pain I have, and will I have this device implanted so I can have a much better quality of life.
Thanks to all....

Oops, I forgot to mention that I had a good nights sleep. When rolling over to my other side and getting up, I had little pain....sleeping is another thing that aggrivates my back and goes into spasams, at times. A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP...Ahhhhhhhh!

Another Journey into my Chronic Back Pain...

For those who know me and the back pain that I have endured for over 28 years, thanks for listening to what I am about to do, in hopes to get some relief.
With the second back surgery in 2004, my back pain has cause more pain than I want/needed, on a daily basis. So, I retired from a job I truly loved...being an Assistant for Special Ed. Children.
Last year, in December, I had a Nerve Stimulator placed on the areas that give me the most pain. It was a trial to see if I would get the most relief. I "trialed" for 9 days. After the trial period, the leads were taken out and I did get some relief.
There are no medications involved, the device sends a message to the brain, when the pain starts and it cuts off the pain in its path. If a patient gets a good amount of pain relief the device is then implanted under the skin. The patient has this for almost 7 years, using it for pain relief. After that time, the device would need to be surgically removed and a new battery would be replaced.
My mom, at her age of 87 needed a lot of help, soon after I had the trial. I was the only family member that was willing to help her, so I put the surgery aside...that is, having the device surgically implanted.
It has been 6 months, my mom is doing things, on her own, so I decided to see my specialist. I will have the trial on Wednesday, 16th. I will have 7 full days to do the things that have caused my pain. I can tell you, I am looking forward to see if this will be the answer to giving me the relief, I so desperatly need and want. And my quality of life...is the PITS, at this time!
After many years of back pain, I have been able to do some things and have just went with the pain...after awhile, one just gets use to what they have...I know I have, as I've been told, I have a High Tolerance for Pain.
Some of the many chores and daily things that aggrivate my back pain are:
Sitting...
Twisting...
Crouching...
Climbing...
Bending...
Standing for long periods of times...
And, just about everything else one does, on a daily basis...me, I always need to think, before I do...and then at times, when I do have a good day, I just go at it without thinking and pay for it with the severe pain that I will have in the next days ahead.
I am looking forward to doing the trial, again. I will keep a journal and do all the "normal" living, that others do, and see how this device will help me. I wanted to do another trial, because I want to make sure this is going to give me the quality of life we all deserve. This implant is a major surgery.
So, with this journey, (trial) I will take with a smile on my face. Hopefully there will be the next, in my journey, to have the nerve Device implanted and the quality of life I am looking forward to.
Many thanks for listening...
Joyce